[identity profile] nohattrick.livejournal.com
@PortalocityPal: It's come to Portalocity's attention that there is some kind of new issue with the multiverse. We hasten to assure you this is NOT OUR FAULT

@PortalocityPal: We are not certain the cause yet, but we understand that this new EXTERNAL PROBLEM is affecting Portalocity's functionality and usability.

@PortalocityPal: We appreciate your patience while our tech support team attempts to 'unbork this shitstorm.' I can only assume that is the technical term.

@PortalocityPal: As a thank you, we are reoffering our 'gnome & bunny' V-gift, due to its overwhelming popularity with users during the previous crisis.

@PortalocityPal: Which we would like to point out, was also not our fault. #JustSaying #PortalocityCares #IAmSoSorry
thatsamilkshake: (xena2)
[personal profile] thatsamilkshake
@f-cupcake: One stop away from Fandom. So is K. Luggage? NOTSOMUCH. #portalocityfail
@f-cupcake: Had to borrow clothes from @portalocity office. Only had leather stuff. TOO SMALL. #portalocityfail
@f-cupcake: Went to comic shop for W:tWS reboot and now people (I ...think. Some are aliens.) all think we're cosplaying as Bitterwoman and Bittergirl
@f-cupcake: Keep asking for autographs and trying to grab my...costume.
@f-cupcake: OH WTF K STUCK MOUSETRAP ON MY BUTT. #chewieisaweirdo
@f-cupcake: .....CAUGHT 4 HANDS SO FAR. 3 FROM SAME GUY. #portalocityfail #portalocityfail #portalocityfail

@f-cupcake: yfrog.com/asdflkjlkj )

@f-cupcake: PS anybody heard from @magicmanservant and A? Can't get texts thru but dunno if it's #realityfail or just Camelot.
icecoldfrost: (on phone)
[personal profile] icecoldfrost
All Emma had wanted was to catch a portal to Fandom and make other people feed her for the weekend so that she wouldn't have to live off ramen and Easy Mac. Not that hard!

Eight transfers and three days later, she was somewhere in Mexico with no local currency and two more hours until her next transfer, which should theoretically take her to Fandom. Luckily, the nice (and hot) guitar player was buying her drinks - which was going a long way towards keeping her from freaking out horribly - but Emma was willing to bet her next three tequila shots that it wasn't going to happen that way.

@FrostyLady: Stuck in bumblefuck Mexico, which is somehow still better than my last layover. Is it still Thanksgiving anywhere? #portalocityfail

[OOC: Open to alllllllll!]
thatsamilkshake: (z-wv-oh crap)
[personal profile] thatsamilkshake
Hey, you know what's a great way to wake up on the first day of Thanksgiving break? To a beeping, rolling alarm clock playing the local news for your listening pleasure.

Gooood morning, Missouri! This is Sam Sorbel with your West Coast weather report. Don't think you'll want to be hitting the beaches today; the ocean's looking mighty snarly out there, and there's a big black cloudbank on the horizon that tells me you surfers might want to stow your boards for at least the rest of the week...

There's nothing quite like being told by Google Maps that the state you grew up in never existed. No, wait, maybe there was: calling your mom in Tennessee, terrified you won't get an answer, only to breathe a sigh of relief at hearing her voice, say "Mom, it's me; something bad's happening. We need to get to Fandom, and you need to come with us," and hear back:

Who is this? How did you get this number? I appreciate my fans' support, but calling my home is over the line. ...Now look, I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I've never heard of anybody named Frank Peters, and I certainly didn't have two kids with him! If you want an autographed photo or a pin-up calendar, CALL MY AGENT. If you call here again, I'll press stalking charges. **CLICK**

Yeah, that was a little bit the same. Like having a piano fall on you and having an asteroid fall on you were a little bit the same. Sorry, other Chewie.

Which is why Francine was now on the dorm phone with Portalocity.

"Hi! Yes, that's right, two for Fandom Island. ASAP. Now would be good. Whatever, I don't care about stopovers, just get us -- SILENT HILL? Are you nuts? No, wait, don't put me back on ho----"

Which is why Francine was also on her cell, texting away like a madwoman. Or someone on hold with Portalocity. Same difference.

@f-cupcake: Half the US is gone. No one remembers. Mom doesn't remember DAD. Or me. #realityfail #warpedbyfandom

@f-cupcake: Trying to get back to Fandom but @portalocity wants to send us to a hell dimension for 3 days! #portalocityfail

[OOC: Open for angry portalocity tweeting, and/or sharing of info / check-ins with fellow worried FHers!]
fh_bde: (portalocity)
[personal profile] fh_bde
In public relations' defense, they had been drinking a LOT of Zima over the last week.

That might excuse their latest tweet:

Portalocity: Happy American Thanksgiving (some restrictions apply)! http://bit.ly/shb4Ux

[OOC: Have at them, angry Twitterers!]
solo_sword: (drained)
[personal profile] solo_sword
Jaina had one portal to go. After three days of traveling, it seemed like she might finally get where she was going. Not that she was getting her hopes up or anything. If she did that, she'd probably end up in the middle of a battle zone or inside a sarlaac pit or something.

After calling home to make sure certain people were still there and then asking them about random people to make sure they remembered them (they did, even Danni), she took back to Twitter.

@JainaSolo_: @Portalocity So you have an @ thing. Which means I can put all my complaints to you.
@JainaSolo_: @Portalocity In 3 days I have been to Timbuktu, the Ice Age, treated to leprechauns that night eat my soul, & multiple frostbite conditions.
@JainaSolo_: @Portalocity Pretty sure you'd tell me I was lucky to see the multiverse like I have and then offer me a bunny.
@JainaSolo_: @Portalocity I hope you know that when I get back to a terminal, I want every worker Ive had to deal with lined up so I can slap them.
@JainaSolo_: @Portalocity The higher ups, such as their managers, may get more severe beatings.
@JainaSolo_: @Portalocity I have plans for the gnome.

[She will actually get to Fandom not long after this! Open if you want, though there should definitely be SP at work today.]
solo_sword: (fine)
[personal profile] solo_sword
At least Jaina had had worse nights? It was just that last night had involved being stuck in a tiny little shack of a terminal in the Ice Age waiting for a portal that got canceled at the last minute, trying to arrange for another portal which was going to cost even more and also adding yet another connection, not being able to get a signal on her phone for a while, not having eaten or slept since she'd left Coruscant technically two days ago now, and also having to fight a sabertooth tiger.

Don't. Ask.

Today she was waiting for the new portal, trying to remind herself that she had once been able to feel her toes (and making sure they still worked- she'd had frostbite before, thanks) and once again cueing up Twitter on her phone because she'd found a way to charger her phone successfully. Never doubt her skills.

@JainaSolo_: The Ice Age can bite me. #portalocityfail

Way to downplay it, Jaina.

[Yep, still messing with her. Second verse, same as the first. Fake tweet with me!]
solo_sword: (working)
[personal profile] solo_sword
The good thing was that when she finally left her own galaxy, Jaina was running on normal time again. ...Wait, was that a good thing when you were catching connection after connection after connection... after connection after connection all day?

She was not one for social media at all, but she'd heard one of the other grumpy portalers saying he was going to Tweet this, so grumpy and bored herself, Jaina opened the Twitter app on her phone (she so loved this thing), and started an account.

@JainaSolo_: Connection #1: Stuck in Mongolia, dont know when. There are people here madder than me, which takes talent. One guy was stuck at an Arbys for 3 days.
@JainaSolo_: I think 3 days was a little much for Arbys guy. Hes got a twitch.
@JainaSolo_: Also why was my name taken on this thing? Its MY NAME.

[Come play. She will totally be livetweeting this all day.]
fh_bde: (portalocity)
[personal profile] fh_bde
Another day, another chance for Portalocity to make a great impression in public affairs!

Maybe someday they'd do it. Today was not that day:

Portalocity: Great news! Every customer gets FREE frequent traveler miles today! http://bit.ly/rNBfw2

Talk about burying the lead.

[OOC: Come one, come all to yell at Portalocity over Twitter!]
fh_bde: (portalocity)
[personal profile] fh_bde
About twenty minutes after another helpful email went out to the multiverse, the servers at Portalocity slowed to a crawl.

Naturally, the public relations department was right on top of that:

@Portalocity: Sorry about the slowdown, folks! Tech support's working just as fast as they can!

On...something, anyway.

[OOC: Like before, open for all your disgruntled tweeting needs.]
fh_bde: (portalocity)
[personal profile] fh_bde
After the email was distributed to their millions of customers, the public relations office fired off a helpful tweet to let those who followed them on Twitter know:

Portalocity: Check out our new holiday deals!! http://ow.ly/7mvRR

More exclamation points meant you were sincere, right?

[OOC: Open to, nay, encouraging, the kind of Twitter flame wars we see when LJ is being similarly ingenius at public relations.]



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