Francine Peters (
thatsamilkshake) wrote in
fh_im2011-11-23 04:05 pm
Entry tags:
Rupture University Campus, St. Louis, and The Internets
Hey, you know what's a great way to wake up on the first day of Thanksgiving break? To a beeping, rolling alarm clock playing the local news for your listening pleasure.
Gooood morning, Missouri! This is Sam Sorbel with your West Coast weather report. Don't think you'll want to be hitting the beaches today; the ocean's looking mighty snarly out there, and there's a big black cloudbank on the horizon that tells me you surfers might want to stow your boards for at least the rest of the week...
There's nothing quite like being told by Google Maps that the state you grew up in never existed. No, wait, maybe there was: calling your mom in Tennessee, terrified you won't get an answer, only to breathe a sigh of relief at hearing her voice, say "Mom, it's me; something bad's happening. We need to get to Fandom, and you need to come with us," and hear back:
Who is this? How did you get this number? I appreciate my fans' support, but calling my home is over the line. ...Now look, I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I've never heard of anybody named Frank Peters, and I certainly didn't have two kids with him! If you want an autographed photo or a pin-up calendar, CALL MY AGENT. If you call here again, I'll press stalking charges. **CLICK**
Yeah, that was a little bit the same. Like having a piano fall on you and having an asteroid fall on you were a little bit the same.Sorry, other Chewie.
Which is why Francine was now on the dorm phone with Portalocity.
"Hi! Yes, that's right, two for Fandom Island. ASAP. Now would be good. Whatever, I don't care about stopovers, just get us -- SILENT HILL? Are you nuts? No, wait, don't put me back on ho----"
Which is why Francine was also on her cell, texting away like a madwoman. Or someone on hold with Portalocity. Same difference.

@f-cupcake: Half the US is gone. No one remembers. Mom doesn't remember DAD. Or me. #realityfail #warpedbyfandom
@f-cupcake: Trying to get back to Fandom but @portalocity wants to send us to a hell dimension for 3 days! #portalocityfail
[OOC: Open for angry portalocity tweeting, and/or sharing of info / check-ins with fellow worried FHers!]
There's nothing quite like being told by Google Maps that the state you grew up in never existed. No, wait, maybe there was: calling your mom in Tennessee, terrified you won't get an answer, only to breathe a sigh of relief at hearing her voice, say "Mom, it's me; something bad's happening. We need to get to Fandom, and you need to come with us," and hear back:
Yeah, that was a little bit the same. Like having a piano fall on you and having an asteroid fall on you were a little bit the same.
Which is why Francine was now on the dorm phone with Portalocity.
"Hi! Yes, that's right, two for Fandom Island. ASAP. Now would be good. Whatever, I don't care about stopovers, just get us -- SILENT HILL? Are you nuts? No, wait, don't put me back on ho----"
Which is why Francine was also on her cell, texting away like a madwoman. Or someone on hold with Portalocity. Same difference.

@f-cupcake: Half the US is gone. No one remembers. Mom doesn't remember DAD. Or me. #realityfail #warpedbyfandom
@f-cupcake: Trying to get back to Fandom but @portalocity wants to send us to a hell dimension for 3 days! #portalocityfail
[OOC: Open for angry portalocity tweeting, and/or sharing of info / check-ins with fellow worried FHers!]

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@f-cupcake: @portalocity YOUC AN TAKE YOUR FRIKKIN HELLDIMENSION AND SHOVE IT, YOU TWOBIT EXCUSEFO R A PUBLIC SERVICE. KINDERGARTNERS HAVE BETTER PR SAV
@f-cupcake: @portalocity VY THAN YOU. I'LL HAVE YOUR DAMN BUSINESS LICENSE FOR THIS.
@f-cupcake: @TWITTER AND YOU WITH YOUR STUPID 140 CHARACTER CRAP, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BITCH PEOPLE OUT THIS WAY?
Sorry, Francine's capslock key.
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jackattack:@f-cupcake Glad you're on your way.
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@JainaSolo_: @f-cupcake What do you mean half the US is gone?
@JainaSolo_: @f-cupcake If youre willing to blow your savings you might get multiple connections w/o hell dimension.
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@f-cupcake: @JainaSolo_ Blowing Arthur's savings but yes, totally. IF I EVER GET OFF HOLD.
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@JainaSolo_: @f-cupcake I have a bad feeling about this.
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@f-cupcake: @portalocity SUPERVISOR. ON THE LINE. NOW. ACTUALLY GET ME THE GNOME SO I CAN TELL HIM EXACTLY WHAT I'M GOING TO DO TO HIM.
The sad part: Katchoo could actually handle complex business transactions with a frightening amount of finesse. This might be a pretty low-level scenario by those standards, but finesse went right out the window when the continent ceased to exist one state at a time.
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@JainaSolo_: @TahiriVeila I love having a reputation.
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TahiriVeila: @JainaSolo_ SORRY. WRONG SOLO.
TahiriVeila: @JainaSolo_ I love you having a reputation too. I can't just leave everyone here, though.
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@JainaSolo_: @TahiriVeila I know, but as long as you can travel and communicate I take that as a good thing.
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TahiriVeila: @JainaSolo_ Portal booked if I absolutely need it. I'll keep in touch.
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Crimeseen: @f-cupcake If you need more money for emergency ticket will get you some too!
Crimeseen: @portalocity GIVE HER A DAMN TICKET NOW
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No, it didn't remotely matter that they'd had one class together ever and had spoken maybe twice. Francine would, under the right circumstances (these were not them) cyberhug the Portalocity gnome.
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And then sell the video on the internet.
CloningAintEasy: Thanks. And I'm thinking we should start a 'Get People To Fandom' fund. Don't like hearing about ppl getting lost.
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